Good Riddance: The Marbury Effect

Sports Illustrated has reported that Stephon Marbury and the New York Knicks have reached an agreement on a contract buyout, making the Brookyln native a free agent. Marbury is expected to sign with the defending world-champion Boston Celtics later this week. We at Gator Nation would like to say good riddance to Marbury, whose teams have a history of becoming exponentially better once he is off of their roster. Let's take a look at "The Marbury Effect".

1999

• Stephon Marbury forces his way out of Minnesotta and into America's armpit--New Jersey, on the way passing up the chance to play with a young Kevin Garnett. The Timberwolves finish one spot from making the playoffs.

2000

• The Timberwolves, without Marbury, earn the 6th seed in the tough Western Conference.
• The Nets, under Marbury's "leadership", finish the season with an abysmal record of 31-49.
  

2001

• Marbury is traded from the Nets to the Suns in exchange for Jason Kidd.
• Nets' record with Marbury at the helm: 26-56
• Suns' record with J-Kidd running the show: 51-31

2002

• Jason Kidd leads the Nets from a league-wide joke to the first overall seed in the east with a record of 52-30. New Jersey wins the Eastern Conference Championship.
• With Marbury playing in Phoenix, the Suns fail to reach the postseason and finish with a lousy record of 36-46.

2004

• New York acquires Marbury from Phoenix in a then blockbuster deal.
• The trade allows Phoenix to free up cap space to sign Steve Nash, who eventually goes on to win two league MVP trophies and lead the Suns to a Western Conference Finals appearance.
• New York reaches the playoffs as the seventh seed only to be trounced by Jason Kidd's Nets.
  

2004-2008

• The Knicks become the laughingstock of the league.
• Marbury, interestingly enough, claims to be the best point guard in the NBA in a post-practice interview.
• Marbury launches his own shoe brand entitled, "Starbury".
• Marbury idiotically tattoos the "Starbury" logo on his larger-than-life head.
• Marbury is exiled by new GM Donnie Walsh.

2009

• The Knicks buy out Marbury's contract, he is expected to sign with the Celtics.

Predictions for the Future

• Upon Marbury's arrival in Boston, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Rajon Rondo will lose their powers, ala Space Jam.
• Due to these absences Brian "Hot-Head" Scalabrine is put into Doc Rivers' starting lineup.
• Without a point guard, Danny Ainge decides to step down from his managerial office and insert himself into the starting lineup. Without anyone to look over the franchise, Ainge hands the important task of Celtics' GM to the best man available- Isiah Thomas.
• Thomas trades the entire Boston roster for Jerome James, Tim Thomas, Renaldo Balkman, and Anucha Browne Sanders.
• The Celtics suffer a historic collapse and fail to reach the playoffs, with the lone bright spot being Browne Sanders' three point shooting.

Good luck Boston, you're going to need it.