Hockey: Hockey? Ohh… Hockey. Wait. Hockey?

By Miller Lulow

The national sport of our upstairs neighbor, hockey is easily the least popular sport in the good old US of A. Maybe next to badminton. But the object in that game is called a “shuttlecock” so I’m not sure how that could be unpopular. In hockey, there is a “puck”, which resembles a frozen burger patty from Wendy’s (are they the ones who freeze their patties, or not? I think Zach Braff does the voiceovers for those commercials. I don’t really like him. Except for in Scrubs. Good show.) Anyway, I thought I would take this time to throw a little hockey out into the world. Listen up sports fans.

With new rules changes, scoring in hockey is up—a lot. Gone are the days of hockey over-unders being 3. Now with roughly 1.5 more goals per game, the over-unders are up to 5 and sometimes 6. With no more two-line pass rule, the stoppages of play in a particular period have dropped to miniscule levels. That means one thing: hockey players doing what they do best—flying on skates. Hockey at its best is end-to-end action with skaters barreling down the ice at dizzying speeds, slinging passes back and forth and letting rip blistering shots at those poor goalies who still don’t wear enough padding. This is entertainment. Personally, I love hockey for its speed. Not to mention the intensity of the maniacs who lace up day in and day out is… for lack of a better word: ridiculous.

Let’s admit it. Hockey gets a terrible rap. Who knows why? I find this rap (like I find most rap) to be stupid. If people would watch hockey, rather than not look at its quasi-invisible page on espn.com and then claim to know what they’re talking about when they claim that hockey is “a horrible sport” with no reasoning or supporting evidence, the country (not the world because in most countries, particularly the Scandinavian ones hockey is cherished) would be able to recognize this game as one of its own. How could a country in which so many of the people love NASCAR (I will forever be stumped on that one), Wrestling (see: NASCAR) and UFC (see: Wrestling) not love hockey? Hockey is soccer, played on skates, on ice, with curved sticks, little frozen beef patties flying at an excess of 100 mph, and all of this done at absolute break-neck speed with occasional pauses in which two big dumb slow guys decide it’s a great idea to beat the cheese out of each other and then go sit in a box for 5 minutes. Stop me when this sounds like a boring sport.

As Dr. Cox says “The Detroit Red Wings are the greatest franchise in the history of sports.” (I like Scrubs.) Statistically, he may be incorrect (the Yankees), heritage-wise, also incorrect (Montreal Canadiens, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Cowboys, Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees.) But! There is no better team to watch play a hockey game than the Detroit Red Wings. As your self-proclaimed Hockey-Doc, I prescribe the viewing of 1 hockey game per week developing into a steady diet of non-stop action. But seriously, give hockey a chance, eh? You hozers.

Updated NFL Mock Draft: Max Davis

#	Team	Player/ Position/ College	Analysis
1	Detroit Lions	Matthew Stafford/ QB/ Georgia	Following the worst season in NFL history the Lions have more than enough holes to fill. They may as well start with most important position on the field and Stafford is the best QB in the draft.
2	St. Louis Rams	Jason Smith/ OT/ Baylor	I originally had Andre Smith at this spot but after his monumental collapse at the combine (not working out then leaving a day early) Jason Smith has taken over the #1 tackle spot.
3	Kansas City Chiefs	Aaron Curry/ OLB/ Wake Forest	In my opinion the best player in the draft. Curry solidified himself as a top prospect by running the fastest 40 time of any LB (4.56).
4	Seattle Seahawks	Eugene Monroe/ OT/ Virginia	By signing T.J. Houshmandzadeh, the Seahawks filled their biggest hole and now won’t take Michael Crabtree. The ‘Hawks do have arguably the best tackle in the game in Walter Jones, but at 35 it’s time to find his replacement.
5	Cleveland Browns	B.J. Raji/ DT/ Boston College	New coach Eric Mangini has already angered his best defensive player, Shaun Rogers, who reportedly wants out. Drafting Raji, who is a 337 pound beast, would allow the Browns to trade Rogers away.
6	Cincinnati Bengals	Andre Smith/ OT/ Alabama	Haven’t we seen this before: the Bengals taking the most talented and most troubled player on the board? In this case, it makes sense. Smith is too good to pass up at 6.
7	Oakland Raiders	Michael Crabtree/ WR/ Texas Tech	Despite not being able to workout for scouts due to a foot injury, Crabtree is still the best offensive prospect in the draft. If the Raiders can complete the trio of Jamarcus Russell, Darren McFadden, and Crabtree then there would be as much potential in three young players as we’ve ever seen.
8	Jacksonville Jaguars	Jeremy Maclin/ WR/ Missouri	Watch for the Jaguars to trade this pick as they don’t have any pressing needs and teams looking for a QB will attempt to trade up and snag Mark Sanchez. If they do hold this pick, Maclin is the deep threat the Jags desire.
9	Green Bay Packers	Brian Orakpo/ DE/ Texas	DE is definitely not the Pack’s biggest need but the Giants have proven that you can never have enough talent on the D-line. Orakpo is a high-energy guy whose motor never seems to stop, unless he’s hurt which happens too often. When healthy though, he can be a force on D.
10	San Francisco 49ers	Mark Sanchez/ QB/ USC	After trying (and failing) to get Kurt Warner the Niners officially ended the Alex Smith era. Sanchez proved his worth at the combine and will likely remain in California for years to come.
11	Buffalo Bills	Aaron Maybin/ DE/ Penn State	Much like the Packers, DE is not the Bills biggest need. They need help in the secondary but Michael Jenkins is too slow to go this high and Vontae Davis is too risky.
12	Denver Broncos	Ray Maualuga/ ILB/ USC	The Broncos linebackers are old and slow. A player like Maualuga could change that.
13	Washington Redskins	Everette Brown/ DE/ Florida State	The biggest noise-makers in free agency, the Skins signed Albert Haynesworth, kept DeAngelo Hall, and cut Jason Taylor. Brown is a freakish physical specimen who will cause havoc alongside Haynesworth.
14	New Orleans Saints	Vontae Davis/ CB/ Illinois	Speaking of freakish physical specimens, Davis takes the cake. 6 feet tall, over 200 pounds, and a sub 4.5 40-time. A very attractive CB prospect.
15	Houston Texans	Malcom Jenkins/ S/ Ohio State	Jenkins hurt himself as much as anyone at the combine: he ran a 4.55 40-time which means he likely won’t be able to keep up with NFL receivers. Jenkins will have to switch to safety, which drops him from the top 10 to pick 15.
16	San Diego Chargers	Knowshon Moreno/ RB/ Georgia	If Maualuga is still here the Chargers might have to jump on him but I don’t think he’ll be on the board at 16. LT is in the final stretch of his career and Sproles cannot be an every-down back; Moreno established himself as the top RB in the draft when he ran a 40-time only .01 seconds slower than Chris Wells who was thought to be the speed back.
17	New York Jets	Darrius Heyward-Bey/ WR/ Maryland	One of the big winners at the combine, Heyward-Bey leapfrogged Percy Harvin as the number 3 WR in the draft by running the fastest 40-time of any player at the combine.
18	Chicago Bears	Percy Harvin/ WR/ Florida	He is not the same player as Devin Hester. Harvin is a much more polished receiver coming out of college and will be ready to make an immediate impact. Also, just imagine the speed of Hester and Harvin lined up alongside each other and dream of the possibilities.
19	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Brian Cushing/ OLB/ USC	After releasing linebackers Derrick Brooks and Cato June the Bucs have made LB a top priority in the draft. Cushing is at the of the board.
20	Detroit Lions	Michael Oher/ OT/ Ole Miss	The Lions are weak at, well, everywhere, which means start at the core. Oher will help sure up an abysmal O-line.
21	Philadelphia Eagles	Tyson Jackson/ DE/ LSU	Andy Reid has a history of only drafting lineman early in the draft so I expect him to take the best one available on either side of the ball. In this situation, it’s Jackson.
22	Minnesota Vikings	Louis Delmas/ S/ Western Michigan	With Darren Sharper nearing the end of his career, the Vikings need to add a guy like Delmas to sure up an already vulnerable pass defense.
23	New England Patriots	James Laurinaitis/ ILB/ Ohio State	After trading away Mike Vrabel, the Pats have an opening at ILB. Laurinaitis is a high-energy guy who should fit in well to Belichick’s 3-4 scheme.
24	Atlanta Falcons	Peria Jerry/ DT/ Ole Miss	The Falcons defense line improved greatly this past year but they still struggled with the run. The key to stopping it? A big ol’ DT.
25	Miami Dolphins	Clay Matthews/ OLB/ USC	A big physical LB blessed with above-average speed, Matthews is an excellent run stopper already and with some solid coaching could become an elite all-around linebacker.
26	Baltimore Ravens	Alphonso Smith/ CB/ Wake Forest	Smith had an outstanding combine and assured himself that he would get drafted in the first round. The Ravens are in danger of falling apart on the defensive side of the ball due to free agency and Smith would be a key addition.
27	Indianapolis Colts	Larry English/ DE/ Northern Illinois	Larry English could fly under the radar coming from Northern Illinois but don’t expect the Colts not to notice the oversized DE/ DT hybrid.
28	Philadelphia Eagles	Chris “Beanie” Wells/ RB/ Ohio State	Brian Westbrook is one of the best running backs in the world but he can’t seem to get through a full season without appearing on the “inactive” list. With his backup, Correll Buckhalter, gone, the Eagles need to draft a solid #2 back. Beanie can be that man.
29	New York Giants	Hakeem Nicks/ WR/ North Carolina	Amani Toomer has said that he doesn’t expect to be a Giant next year and Plaxico Burress, well, let’s just call him unreliable. Most draft classes would never allow Nicks to fall this far but the Giants benefit from a stacked wide receiver class.
30	Tennessee Titans	Fili Moala/ DT/ USC	The Titans couldn’t match the Redskins $100M offer for all-pro DT Albert Haynesworth so look for them to fill that hole with Fili.
31	Arizona Cardinals	Lesean McCoy/ RB/ Pittsburgh	McCoy is an outstanding young back with unlimited potential. Maybe the most underrated player in the draft, he could absolutely explode on a team with Warner and Fitzgerald.
32	Pittsburgh Steelers	Duke Robinson/ OG/ Oklahoma	It is very rare for a Super Bowl champion to have a weak offensive line but that was the case this year with the Steelers. Look for the Steelers to fill that hole with the top Guard in the draft.

A Sunday Night in East Rutherford: Louie Dane

Part One

There is nothing quite like the sound of 80,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs continuously in unison for 3+ hours. But in late December of ’08, with the Giants playing the Carolina Panthers with the NFC’s #1 seed on the line, you could sense the extra vibrations in the vocal chords of every single one of those 80,000, taking the decibel level just over the top of what the normal human lung capacity would otherwise be.

Being at Giants Stadium that night with my brother will stand for a long time as the most memorable experience of both our lives.

It’s even more memorable because we almost didn’t get to go.

The story really begins a year earlier, when the Giants stunned the world and won 4 consecutive road games on their way to a Super Bowl title. I don’t think there was a better photo taken all year after Sports Illustrated captured the split-second where David Tyree pinned the pigskin to his shiny blue, NY-labeled dome. But then again, I am a Giants fan, and I guess you could say my opinion when it comes to those things is a bit irrational compared to somebody who thinks that the New York Giants are the big buildings that you can see on the Manhattan skyline.

I waited 8 months to watch the Giants play again, but I was forced to watch – like every single game from the previous season – on television. It’s really the worst thing you could possibly subject a football fan to; screaming yourself silly at the good – and at the bad. And with Eli Manning and the Giants, you’re sure to catch a bit of both every once in a while.

After the Week 1 victory at home against Washington, I knew I wasn’t about to let another season go by without trekking out to the Meadowlands to watch a real football game. I hadn’t been in at least 2 years. That’s like telling a vegetarian that they can only eat meat; there are other options available, but its just so painstaking that you’d almost rather starve. Just like the NFL and the TV networks expect me to do, I watch every game. But this time around, I logged on to Stub Hub and secured a ticket to football heaven.

Sammy and I didn’t anticipate just how important the game would be until the coming weeks, when the NFL announced that its flexible scheduling would move the Panthers game into their primetime slot on NBC. So here is the dilemma: Game on Sunday night. School on Monday morning. Tickets = $150 a pop. The decision was a tough one for my mother, but a no-brainer for me.

Before I knew it, it was the 21st. The Panthers were in town. The battle for #1 was here. Every five minutes, my mother would fashion another snowball out of her pocketbook-sized arsenal of Jewish mother worries (it happened to be snowing the day before, so the entire area was covered) and blind side me with yet another reason why we should drop the idea and watch the game on television. Uh-Uh. No way, Jose. We were going, and Momma wasn’t gonna stop us.

So, she packs us blankets and umbrellas like any mother should, fully aware of the stadium policy that prohibits non-clear bags. I, fully unaware of that policy, re-pack the clear plastic bag into my brand new North Face backpack.

We walk up to the Giants Stadium security guards, and we get gingerly turned away. “No bags allowed,” the guy told us. “You’re just gonna have to leave it in your car or hide it.”

“Hide it?” I ask, enraged at how my first-night-of-Chanukah present was going to be put to use. “We came here on the bus! Where do you suppose we leave it?”

“Not my problem. I don’t make the rules, I’m just doing my job.”

That guy is really lucky that it snowed. Sammy and I packed the snow like we had never packed before to get the bag completely covered.

It wasn't until we actually sat in our upper tier seats when we realized there were still two hours until kickoff. Bundled tighter than either of us had ever been before, we sat, and we waited. Little did we know then that the wait would be well worth it all...

Part Two coming soon...